Transforming Sadness

By Bart Sharp

Andrea came to see me and felt like everything was wrong in her life. As she shared her life we really saw the common limitation was Andrea was afraid of being lonely. Loneliness was the product of sadness in her childhood. Sadness from the perspective that there was no one to love her, an ostracization of her being a loved member in her family.

With her family, there was no one really available on an emotional level. They were all too busy running a family business. At age 2, Andrea began to be molested by her grandfather. As damaging as those incidents were, it did not create her core limitation. Somewhere in Andrea’s world she was strong enough to handle those aggressions because somewhere within her beliefs she felt her parents would fulfill her with the love she already had within herself. Unfortunately, Andrea’s parents never came around to matching her expectations. Her core limitation was established around age 3 when she finally gave up hope that her parents were never going to love her in an unconditional way. Due to the disappointment Andrea fell into the emotion of sadness to create her core limitation.

The sadness manifested in the feeling of extreme loneliness and there was no one there for her. In some ways this reality was true. Andrea’s parents made sure her needs were met but were disconnected as a family. They never did functioned as a family as they operated a store requiring someone to be working at all hours. The mother was a dominating force in the family while her father was more passive and withdrawn. Andrea sought the warm nature of her dad yet he was often withdrawn and emotionally unavailable. While Andrea’s mom was often angry and controlled the household. The mother’s grand parents lived next door creating an unhealthy situation for the little girl yet no one could recognize the unhealthy environment. In this unprotected state from the irregular visitations from her grandfather Andrea felt ostracized from her family as if they did not want her. In reality her family did not push her away they simply did not know how to be caring in a loving way. In essence Andrea missed the love of her parents.

When an infant transitions from the other side into this reality they embody the infinite love of the spirit world and in some ways small beings of light. The love and expanded consciousness exists within them naturally. The profound wisdom of a child and innocence to love unconditionally needs to be confirmed from their parents then the infinite awareness of a the child can grow into this world otherwise it shrinks within them. For Andrea she had an intense desire, referenced from many past lives
with her mom to receive love from her mother. However, her mother was not emotionally available to build a strong mother/daughter love. This was the core sadness for Andrea and the feeling of separation felt if her reality imploded into sadness deep within her solar plexus.

The best strategy to not feel the sadness for Andrea was to become the best little girl possible, she created prolifically ways to have approval and some form of love. From this plan of action Andrea’s created a hope to loved. The more Andrea created her as the fun, inventive and charming person she got attention. She lifted her family out of their doldrums and receives their approval. It was not the unconditional love her essence from the spirit world needed but it was the best she could have within the emotional confines of her family. The energetic dynamics for Andrea was a reactionary emotion of the constant hope to pull her away from her core emotional theme of sadness.

As an adult woman of forty five Andrea’s sadness was overwhelming to her when she came to see me. She was an art teacher in a public school, single with an adult daughter and son beginning their independent lives. The crises within began with the feeling of disorder within her school, changes in administrative policies that created less structure and order for the students triggered Andrea to feel less enthused about the direction of the school. She then felt a distance between herself and the students because of her dismay with the policies, the new students were not confronted by the staff so they were more disorderly. For Andrea it began to stimulate energies within her of hopeless, there was less purpose in her work because she saw less hope they were going to improve.

At the same time Andrea’s children were creating their own lives. She had less of a role in their lives. There seemed to be too many demands upon her from work and not enough time to create fulfilling activities, Andrea was losing the vision that she could create something wonderful to enliven those around her like she did with her parents. If she had no hope to change the world around her she would sink into the sadness of her childhood that no one loved her. Andrea became depressed, she longed to leave a once satisfying job for something that felt fulfilling again. The core state of being that was haunting her were the sad feelings originating in childhood of feeling alone. However the environment around her was not responding to her magical transformative creations, she had hit a wall and had contracted into her sadness.

Andrea did not configure the challenges in her present day were stimulated from her core theme limitation of sadness. As she became aware of her emotional construction of having hope to pull her out of sadness she began to see how school had the same dynamics. Using meditative tools she could begin change the sadness. Andrea could now see sadness was not something she had to dread but interact with. Sadness was an energetic memory that could dealt with. As a child she did not have the cognizance to interact with the sad feeling of loneliness so her response was to avoid it by being the ray of hope in her family. Now Andrea could directly interact with the sadness on an energetic level and begin to change her core emotional patterns.