By Bart Sharp

Two friends Todd and Jerome were at the seemingly at the end of their relationship.  They created a business together and after almost five years had run its course to a dismal end.  There was numerous levels of blame to go around to each party and both men resented the mistakes the other had made.  Not only was the business ending but the friendship was on the last ends of disravel.

It seemed like both young men could tell the habits and moves of how the other made their business recede.

First was Jerome’s ongoing flirtation with customers as he was going way over the line contended Todd.

Jerome responded Todd’s too anal analytic approach always made customers feel he was incompetent as Todd made sure every account was checked twice making their clients wait too long for services.  It made Todd look insecure.

Todd felt that Jerome’s personal life intertwined with the business too much.  When his former girlfriend came into the office and accused Jerome of cheating on her in front of some of their clients was a huge loss that the business never recovered from.

Jerome declared Todd’s serious demeanor of rarely cracking a joke while working never created an invitation for people to continue to see them.  The customer never felt welcomed with Todd.

The accusations continued as a litany of mistakes were revealed between the two men.  It was a pathway through the past of how they created a failure.  The commonality of the two men was they were hiding behind how they were right and the other person was wrong.

Being right and the other person is wrong is a perspective hides the judgment that maintains a fear we will be found out by others and in this case the fear of being exposed that we are inadequate seems to resonate.  Both Todd and Jerome are quick to point the finger at on another yet maintain a defensive position that does not allow them to see their own self’s actions.  It is all talk with no listening.

Sadly if Todd and Jerome dissolve the business and start anew it is very likely they will create the same mistakes again because they did not do two crucial things.  They were not willing to see how they created the situation and were willing to admit that they were wrong.

There is release or a freeing feeling if you can admit that there is a possibility that you are wrong.  In Todd and Jerome’s case they learned early that making mistakes opened them to criticism and shaming.  Acceptance and love from their parents depended upon them being accomplished and successful (even as children).  So they associated admitting weakness to being unloved or being rejected.  However in doing so they created a judgment that vulnerability is a weakness instead of an openness to see a different point of view.

Admitting we are wrong opens us to the possibility to see our mistakes.  What most people misunderstand about mistakes is it is nothing to feel ashamed about.   Making mistakes is an important part of the learning process.  If Jerome and Todd could begin the process of seeing how they created their business from their errors (and even laugh at them) they could see how learning from our past mistakes can free their entire lives in so many ways.  They could have a different outcome than one hundred steps of blame that lead to tragedy.

By Bart Sharp

Love is brutally honest. To experience love with another unravels us to reveal our true nature from sensuality, fears, inspirations, transgressions etc. If we allow love to unfold us we will show all of that to another and see that in them as well. Love can be beautiful and scary.

To hold another in intimate love for a long time requires one to see their partner without judging them: to see your lover’s mistakes, pains and victories as a part of the whole. Just as equally important is to be seen fully by another is such an exposing light.

It takes self-caring to be honest in how your lover’s actions makes you feel without condemning your partner in some way because love is about learning to accept another within your own self. At the same time it is not a sacrifice of you so they can have their own process. They have to face themselves alone in some way with your support.

If we build with honesty, allowance, respect for ourselves and for the other as well we nurture a place for the heart to be expressed and the ego to be opened for transformation. The ego holds all of the rationales that create separation from love. Heart-shared love is an ongoing process of processing and letting go of the conflicts life presents and the ego interjects into.

By removing the layers around our hearts we see the depth that we are truly made of, a partner can reflect this and expose it even deeper. When two hearts can reveal themselves this deeply to each other love opens like the universe shared with two souls. Relationship can be bliss, honesty, pain, vulnerability and back to love, the nectar of the gods.

By Bart Sharp

I like to entertain the thought that being in love at the age of 50 or above is a more powerful kind of love than young love.  A lot can be said about the merits of young love in it world of freshness, naivety, physical beauty and hormones as the world has traditionally focused on that era of romance.  Purity is a wisdom that comes from the lessons of introspection, completion and experience.  Of course this article may show the younger audience what they have to look forward to.

If someone can love at age 50 requires them to resolve their guilt because they have made almost every mistake in the book by then.  If they are still willing to love openly again like the innocence of your love a huge forgiveness of self and of others must occur.   Otherwise the weight of those unresolved and unforgiven parts of us will kill any ability to reveal ourselves deeply that is required in mature love.

Love is too heavy of an experience for cynicism, it can severely wound a heart.  Time will always tell us that our freedom requires us to learn the lessons that regret presents to us.  Maturity guides us.  The only blame that cures is looking at our own faults to uncover where we went off the path, then we can find our way back to the richness of loving us. Then another.

To be refreshed in our own hormones and the joyful vitality of loving someone over 50 it is required to let go of our resentments.  The anger that have has complied deep inside and layered our libido to create a stalemate inside must go.  Loving over 50 requires us to unfold our pains and expose them to the light to be free of our past and our life force of sexual energy flows freely from the genitals up to our heart.

What we learn from aging is vulnerability, a softer side that opens to the world. Knowing we will be protected by our wisdom we go more naked into the world.  In that defenselessness we are more of an invitation to receive love of all kinds and see it in its multiplicities of expression.  We can cherish life in all of its moments.

We have seen so many kinds of fear by age 50 we know it is not real, so why buy into it?  Anything depleting is created in a lie.  Love always fills and replenishes.  With maturity we know how to nurture love so that it stays alive.  Each stage of life can be honored in love, loving relationships and heart filled romance.