Some children may feel underneath others or shamed; from their brothers, sisters and friends.   They desperately want them to be liked, cared for or played with.  There is something of an intrinsic value that this needy child could not identify in them selves that makes them feel separate from or less than others. It is  a reality of shame that they have been labeled or projected onto by their caretakers.

The needy child seeks this unknown quality in others through winning their approval and attention.  This child would even compromise them self in order to get attention.  They would play the subserviate role in order to form friendships with others.  In the end it is a dis-satisfying relationship and reinforces the belief that something unknown is still lacking in this child with less.  They are seeking an internal gift that none of their siblings or friends could give to them.

In the beginnings of an infant’s life when the parents receive their child into the world they can look at the child with love and excitement, through that a transference occurs.  The baby is given a flame of love.  It is an energy that comes within the mother and father and through their caring, love and hope.  The gift is then set to grow.

The flame gives the child strength and an inner well-being.  A spirit evolves inside to explore and thrive.

If the infant is brought into the world without the gifts of love and kindness the child interprets this as their own fault.  A conclusion is drawn that there is something wrong with them.  Not on an intellectual level but something deep inside is wounded.  The inner flame is not nurtured and built upon by the parents.

There are many aspects of this gift the parents have for the child.  Some children are literally unwelcome, others are loved but the parents are not fully committed to be a mother or father.  Some parents carry significant wounds themselves so there is less presence in caring and loving to give to the infant.  The baby does not comprehend these aspects they sense the deficiency inside the parents and take the blame on them selves.

When a baby comes into the world they are the essence of joy.   As they grow into infancy the happiness that they are is an expression of love that is close to divine and at the same time innocent.   It is the child’s gift that they have to give to their parents and the world.  It is healing for the parents to receive their baby as they can be inspired of this pure love that they once were.  It also reaffirms to the infant or child that they have value, giving them encouragement to share of them selves out into the world.

If the child is not acknowledged of their gift of love and are not affirmed something begins to sour. They eventually begin to buy into their parents beliefs that the world is not a magical place.  The child believes that they are not magical.  The flame inside falters and the child begins to believe in the adult world of a lack of love.  Most importantly the child feels shame that they were incapable of making a difference.

The dampening of the flame that shame is associated with can be created during various stages of an infant’s life.  Some children are shamed in every stage of development where as others are limited to a few stages.  As the shame is repressed into memory the frustration begins to impact the heart and soul of the child.  The shame begins to take various forms of expression such as anger, passive aggressive behaviors, depression, resentments, lack of confidence, lack of inner direction and more shame.  The child becomes an adult carrying these limitations into everyday life.

The process of healing begins in exploring these limitations and discovering your story.  It is the cognitive realization of what happened in your life.  It is the therapy of finding how your emotional wounds were created.  Recognizing our past is essential in healing.

To go discover a deeper resolve is a process of uncovering shame deeper than the mind but body memories.  This process begins in understanding how it occurred by recalling the stories of our shamed life.  Next as you recall the stories feel how our body is reacting when we relive the incidents.   The energy of our limitations is stored into our body.  Each memory that we have judged as bad or wrong is stored in our body.  It never really goes away.  For most it is a life of suppressing these experiences so that they are not felt.

There is something very powerful in exploring the past.   You can re-live the experience feel where it is occurring in your body.  For example while you review an experience you may feel the anger that you suppressed in your stomach or an anxious feeling in your heart or a thick heavy sensation in your lower intestines.  It is the energetic memory of the incident.  It is important to fully feel this energy, get accustomed to it and recognize it as an integral part of you.

When you feel the experience your body often is recreating what it was feeling back in the original experience.  It can be intense.  It is important not to judge it but to experience it.  It is what we did not process it fully back then otherwise it would not be such a traumatic experience.  Allowance is the key in resolving shaming events of your past.  Letting the infant or child or your past to have these feelings under a nurturing and non-judging presence by your adult-self. Patiently contemplate the perceptions that occur while you are present with this past memory.

When we discover and release our past shame we begin to create a new perspective in how we see ourselves in the world.  Releasing the secret underlying messages that we are less and cannot achieve our dreams unleashes a more authentic self that can receive all of life more easily.  We can change the basis of our beliefs and limitation and manifest our lives differently.

Bart Sharp is an Access Facilitator who specializes in helping others release suppressed emotions such as shame on energetic memory level.  Through this experience Bart has witnessed people making dynamic changes in their lives through private sessions and learning techniques to clear their limitations on their own.  Bart resides in Austin Texas and works with people in person or by phone.