By Bart Sharp

Everything is energy.  It is becoming a popular term.  Einstein was way ahead of his time.  I like it.  Our thoughts are an aspect of the energy matrix’s that exists on the planet.  We influence the matrix and the vice versa.  The matrix is a conglomerate consciousness that presides over and within the people on the planet.

For example a matrix of consciousness that is currently a strong presence in the world is financial struggle.  If we believe it and then become the effect of that.  We do not have to buy into any of these thought constructs.  We can thrive when everyone around us is overcome with hard times.  It is our choice.

An important key is never judge a situation but observe.  When we judge how bad the planet is destructing we hook into the crises.  We become attached to the matrix of the fears consciously and/or unconsciously. There are the facts that the earth is experiencing global disruptions and there are strong possibilities of disasters.  We can look at these possibilities with a detached compassion.

The more that we can be positive with all of our thoughts we send an energetic message out to the world of positive expansion.  It does make a difference if you have an attitude of perceiving others instead of judging them.  Of course this is easier said than done.  How many of you can say I have no negative thoughts or judgments during the day?

One disclaimer I wish to add is that we all become angry or sad for something that occurs in the present tense.  It is unavoidable and natural.  Things happen.  I am talking about our negativity that is referenced from the past that perpetually reoccurs in our thoughts.

It is a conscious choice that requires a muscle of proactive awareness to be present in us in a positive frame of mind, body and spirit.

A Strange Story

By Bart Sharp

I was surfing on the Internet when I saw a photo of a dog being used as shark bait.   This defeated but beautiful animal had two large hooks protruding out of his nose.  It was distressing to view the photo as I tried to stay unattached by not judging how it disgusted me.

I left the site and went on about the day only to have the image return to my memory.  I was patient with the vision but as the afternoon wore on I was becoming weary of the image.  Every time its vision came up a tension clutched into my stomach and I felt uncomfortable in my nasal area where the hooks were sunk into the animal.

It soon became like an obsession, an internal conflict that I knew was deeper than the photo was creating this.   Unfortunately I could not figure out hat that source was.  Did it relate to abuse?  Anger?  My father’s fishing trips?  Nothing resonated.  I was lost and this image was becoming more dominating in my mind.

I knew that my body was trying to communicate to me an unpleasant past memory that I had suppressed.  I could not find it.  It was getting worse as I could feel the hook prongs in the roof of my mouth, not painful but irritating.  I exercised patience as the image continued; I knew that this was just an energetic memory that could not harm me.  At the same time I could see a picture of the roof of my mouth splitting apart.  Both images of the dog and my mouth were coming up randomly in my mind.

The next day I was sharing this with a friend who said, “Maybe it is a literal meaning that you are missing.”  He asked me, “What are you finding unpalatable in your life?”

Instantly I knew he was spot on.  I had a disagreement with my girlfriend and had not been able to express myself.  There was certain energy to that response but my hunch told me there was something deeper than my argument that had been triggered.

I began to ask my body questions to where am I suppressing the deeper memory.  I first asked what age did I create this memory.  I was guided to that dreaded age of twelve years old, the seventh grade.  Oh yes there are plenty of things I could and would not tell to others during that time in my life.  I felt the tightness in my stomach and the image of my splitting palette increase to confirm my thoughts.

Yes I knew the stories of that time, the trials and tribulations of a stage in life that I’d rather forget.    This type of exploration was not new to me as I help others release these type of limitations using the tools of Access Energy Transformation.  I had not dealt with such odd images representing the limitation before.   One thing was for sure, I was ready to let go of this one.  Junior High School has never been a pleasant place to explore.

The process for me is to feel where the energy of the limitation manifests and in this situation it was stuck in my mouth and stomach.   The deepest part of the angst was in my stomach.  Generally, it is where I hold so much of my suppressed anger and other emotions.   I spent much of my time angry at age twelve and thirteen but the sensations of this dense rock shaped energy felt like guilt as well.   I had blamed myself greatly for all of the things that overwhelmed me in that time of my life.

I sat patiently and perceived the stressed areas in my stomach.  Each stressed area has a different quality in its shape, density and feel.  There are areas in where it is harder and softer.  As I explored this energy the top half that was in my solar plexus felt slightly inflamed like when I am angry and lower half into the back of my stomach was much heavier like a hard knot.

As I placed my attention onto this area the stories of my 7^th grade life re-revealed them selves.  With each story re-stimulating my energetic ball-shaped memory.  With each memory I would allow the story to come up, not to judge it but be present with it.  I allowed each story to stimulate the inflamed area, as it would give me more information of what this seventh grade reality was really like.  The stories stimulated anger, rage, fear, and beliefs of how I was wrong and how I sent out those projections to my classmates and teachers at that time.

When it felt like that phase of the exploration was complete I placed my attention on the hard, dense area in the lower part of my stomach.  With my focus fully on this area I asked, “Is there a shadow side to this that I am hiding away in?”

The question opened a greater truth within as a lighter fluffy energy was exposed below the hard place in my stomach.  It was the underlying energy of the limitation, the shadow side of it.  In my mental vision I began to explore this dark world that looked like darken, slices of elongated flower petals slowly wavering in a black etheric world all existing inside of me.

I ventured into the darkness not knowing what I would find.  I was seeing the shadows of the flowing petals but unable to perceive finer details.  I was searching in a shadowy darkness looking with my senses to identify energies living in this world.  I was looking for an old energy of me.

All the while the roof of my mouth was creating the image of skin splitting apart.  It was giving the message that something was very wrong in my body.

After a few moments I felt something about two feet below me, hiding in the reed like shadows below my buttocks.  It was an orb shaped energy that felt like me.  My presence came to the orb and I perceived into it with a vision that did not use my eyes but my inner imaging.  Hidden away was this sad young man who felt inadequate, alone with the belief that it was his fault.   The underlying energy of this shadow persona was guilt.  The anger and rage experienced in the stomach was only a reaction to the guilt.

I began to talk to this part of me, telling him that he is no longer in the seventh grade.  It was not his fault; it was just a tough time.  He does have permission to let go of this less than satisfying past.  Then I invited this part of me to let this shadow world go and come live in my life in the present.  This old energy could reintegrate into my heart.

With that said the past energetic memory dissolved and I felt a surge of energy in my heart.  It made the transition immediately.  The tense shape in my stomach dissipated instantly.  The roof of my mouth suddenly felt normal again.  The images of the dog left.  I felt complete in myself, energized from the transfer.  When I think of the dog or the splitting palate in my mouth it has no charge, just an image that goes as quickly as it comes.   If we can find the lies and fears of our past we can transform them by bringing them up to the light of our awareness.  Access Energy Transformation helps in this process clearing out blocks that limit our inner vision.

I know that my body will always bring up issues that I am ready to let go of.  That is how it works.  However it usually does not come up in such an unusual obsession.  As I evolve and continue to be open to self-exploration deeper challenges will rise up.   The experience of the seventh grade was finally ready to change.   I am glad my body and higher self have the ability to bring it up my limitation to my awareness.  My on-going job is to pay attention to them and be willing to change.

By Bart Sharp

Our essence is an energetic being. When our body is dead and dust the energy of us lives on as an etheric or soul self.  I once grappled with this concept of what a soul is and how it benefits me in this reality.  A soul is an energetic being of us and it creates an effect in this reality, positive or negative.

Our essence is energy and we take that energy wherever we place our intention.  For example it is a proven fact that those who think good thoughts to their plants have a more pronounced growth in the plant.  A friend of mine sends loving thoughts to her clients and they call her for appointment more regularly.  If we judge others negatively creates that energy to the other person.

A friend, who is a sensitive, feels when ever I am distressed or judging as a discomfort in her heart of stomach.  At first she thought that I was angry at her but I was reliving past resentments that I had yet to resolve.  It really opened my eyes how my unresolved past angers and abuses effect the world around me on an energetic level.  In addition I used to work as a teacher for handicapped students whom many had histories of abuse, the unresolved trauma was absorbed in my body and no wonder why everybody termed it as a stressful job.  Of course my friend wondered why my body was in such stress while I was at work until she met my students.

The point is energies of other people are abound in our lives, they can be a conscious or unconscious influence in our life.  I had recently taught a communion with nature class and for most of the class I felt a discomfort in my heart, like the feeling that I experienced in my our heart as a kid when I was in trouble.  I knew this energy was not mine but one of my students as she had a history of trauma or abuse.  When I was aware of it and allowed it to be it felt more comfortable.  The traumas that we have not resolved are still in us and vibrate an energy, we may not feel it because we have suppressed it and have acclimated to it.

Almost everyone on the planet has personal issues that are suppressed that they carry in their everyday lives.  It unconsciously influences their lives and others around them.  Carl Jung said that people resolving their conflicts was the only hope that we having in saving this world.  I agree wholeheartedly.

The spiritual path is being aware and resolving what is within us.  That is the core of empowerment.  You being free of your anger, rage, grief and fears to live in the present in a whole self.  In that level of consciousness we are an expanded energy that creates change of everything around us.

Of course changing you completely is quite a tall order.  It is an ongoing process.  But just for today I invite you to be open to change.  To stop everyday and reflect about what distresses you.  Ask yourself is the stress that I am experiencing today have an origin from my past?  While doing this feel the tension, distress, heaviness in your body.  If you feel it while you are reliving these experiences it is how your body is telling you where the energetic memory of this stress lives in you.  Explore the heavy spot, be present with it and allow it to be in you with no judgment of it.  Give it the attention that it needs as that is part of the healing process.  You may find the origins of your pains beginning in infancy, treat that heaviness like a infant would need to be treated, with nurturance.

For this week I invite you to sit everyday and process you for a short period.  Process what occurred in your life.  Do not judge it as bad or wrong but as an energy.  Give it your full nurturing attention.

These energies will begin to release its hold on you when you mentally and energetically process them.

When you release your fears a new freedom shows up for you.  A new energy and more of it as your body is not having to fuel the old fear anymore.  Wholeness is a gift for you that everyone benefits from.

By Bart Sharp

A child’s perception of power is in how much they are loved by their parents, family and allowed to discover themselves.  When a child is raised in this environment they grow in their own identify and are affirmed that they are valuable.   As adults this power is transformed into all what the person wishes to become and achieve.  The love the adult received as a child transfers to the belief the adult deserves to receive their dreams.

On the opposite perspective the child who is not loved as much and taught they are lesser beings have the outlook that they deserve less.  The messages that the parents gives to the child that they are wrong transfers to their beliefs as adults.  Unconsciously the adult believes that they should receive less in life.  The shamed that was projected onto them becomes a core belief that they deserve less in life.

Shame is an unconscious belief within an individual that affects them in a variety of ways.  It becomes an invisible sabotage that affects how they manifest.

If we wish to have a fuller power it is imperative that we explore our past in how we were deemed lesser.  It can be projected onto or taught to us in obvious and subtle ways.  We as adults can change the way that we create our lives by exploring our shamed self.  Then the basis of our person power can change.

Receive Dynamic Clearings to change aspects of your life with Access Energy Transformation CDs By Bart Sharp. Let go of your limitations in a fast, dynamic and easy way.

*Use Access Energy Transformation CDs by Bart Sharp to release deeper into your limitations over and over again in the comfort of your own home.
*Each CD is approximately one hour of non-interrupted clearings by Bart Sharp.
*The CDs are designed to clear a variety of considerations on a topic and as well as activate our consciousness to be greater.
*You can choose either an active or non-active listening approach to receive the benefits of the CD.
*Some people like to listen to Bart’s soothing voice to put them to sleep as all CDs guide you to a more relaxed state.
*Regardless of the listening style these Access CDs create big results.

Some of the topics offered:
“Opening And Releasing Your Limitations” is a CD opens pressure points on our head to relax and put promote sleep. More importantly using this CD opens your mind to release electromagnetic currencies in your brain that hold an energetic memory of your limitation in place.
“Becoming A Greater Power” clears unconscious beliefs that inhibit and sabotage our personal power. This CD explores the attidudes that our parents instilled in us that we are a lesser power.
“Living A Prosperous Life” activates us to receive more health, happiness, joy, money and abundance in our life. The CD is a message to our body, unconscious and conscious minds that we can receive more of everything in life.
“Clearing Anger” releases suppressed anger in our body. A wonderful CD to listen to multiple times to release suppressed anger in us. Good for those with addictions, depression, resentments and anger.
“Being Free Of Allergies” dialogues with our body to release toxins in our body quickly and easily. This decreases the body’s need to have allergic reactions as a way to expel toxins. It really works if listen to the CD regularly.
“Living Life With Ease, Joy And Glory!” Our body will respond to and create any thing that we tell it. If we communicate to our body to do everything easily, joyfully and in a exuberant expression of life we create just that.

Purchase all of these CDs at Amazon.com for $20.

By Bart Sharp

.

We hold all of our life’s experiences this way.  Included in the recording is the emotional memory along with the imprinting of the event in the cell.  The emotional memory can be happiness we experience, the sadness, the anger or the traumatization paired together with the memory of the experience.

The emotional memory seems to affect the well being of the cells as well.  For example if we have both the memories and anger from the experience in the body, the cells are not as healthy.

We also seem to hold emotional experiences in certain areas of our body that pertain to the experience.  For example if we stuff our resentments we hold the memories in our abdominal areas or not express our anger the energy may be repressed in our throats.  If we have lots of unresolved crises and live in that kind of trauma it may be held in our heart.

These memories are held in our body and may fester creating abnormal cells.  They are the impetus for disease in our bodies.

A friend of mine years back told me his dysfunctional behavioral patterns were so ingrained in him that it would take the rest of his life to change the way they were hardwired in his body.  This was said in the days that we used only our intellect to process our emotional sufferings.  I believed it was true in those days.

However since then I have learned that the cellular memory of emotional pain can be released.  We can have energetic transfers in both directions.

There are many body-based therapies out there but I like using Access Energy Transformation to release cellular memory.  Since I have been using these tools in my life the vitality, health and flexibility in my body has improved dramatically.  Incidents of sickness have greatly reduced.  I have more energy because there are less parts of me holding my suppressed past that seem to block or inhibit my energy flows.  I have seen tremendous changes in my clients as well.

I am a believer in body-based therapies as one of the integral tools to let go of a limited past and step into our lives with more health, energy and joy.

By Bart Sharp

I have seen the movie “Invictus” twice because the character of Nelson Mandela inspires me so.  Nelson is one of the most open and defenseless people that you would ever meet.  Nelson uses this as his power.

The power of openness allows Nelson to see people deeply and known them.  The injustice being jailed as a political prisoner was an opportunity for Nelson in that he learned how to let go of his anger and forgive.  That is the source of his power.

In the forgiveness that most likely began with him self, Nelson opened himself to see everyone differently beginning with his prison guards.  He strived to look at the world beyond his anger and judgments but to have the awareness of what existed in people’s minds and hearts.

Somewhere in that process Nelson saw his real power was the clarity he gained in the open defenseless position he developed through non-judgment.  It did mean he was a victim or underneath others.  It means Nelson knew power over others is not the true source of power but his awareness of others and his active expression of an allowance of them.

When people interacted with Mandela they felt the total presence of a man that had a complete acceptance and honoring of them.   It is the power that pulled long time enemies into some kind of alliance that most believed to be impossible to achieve in his home country of South Africa.

Nelson is not the first or hopefully the last to create such miracles.  Ghandi used the same kind of beingness to unite millions.

What we can learn from these great people is the process of opening ourselves to others in a non-judging way is empowering for all parties.  The attitude of looking at the world in non-judgment will open us to awareness to discover our own inner power.  Like Mandela and Ghandi’s experience it may not occur overnight.  We all have established many layers of judgments so it takes persistence and time to discover us.  But at level of self-discovery opens us to a new level of connection, power and freedom that becomes a greater gift to the world.

By Bart Sharp

The other day a client, Deborah called and asked if she was receiving the ‘evil eye’ from someone.  It felt true.  We quickly identified the person, her mother-in-law, who was psychically intruding into her world.

We began to explore the dynamics of why this person was attacking her.  We discovered the woman was jealous of my client.

Jealously can motivate people to do a variety and non-active things.  Jealousy can be a combination of emotions with the basis of its source fear and often with an underlying emotion of shame.  In this situation an aggressive form of anger was present.  The in-law was projecting anger at my client.

Deborah was a highly intuitive young woman whose highly refined abilities could sense the energy of someone penetrating her energetic being.  However, she was reacting as if something was wrong with herself or her body.  Deborah felt the imbalance within her yet did not consider the cause was from someone attacking her.  She felt that she had created it.  By judging the energy as something was wrong with her Deborah’s stomach and colon starting aching.

The situation was so unusual that she began to speculate that someone had placed a spell upon her.  She then called me.

One of the common application of spells are a mental projection.  In other words someone consciously focuses on another while feeling an emotion, (often anger through aggressiveness).  For most attackers they are mostly unaware that they are attacking another, they are simply obsessed with their own angry.  There are some with the intention of hurting another.

Some people have the power to affect another thru psychic attacks yet do not understand what they are doing.  Deborah’s mother-in-law fit into this category.  She could not let go of the notion that her daughter-in-law was the attention of her son’s love.

I processed the experience with Deborah and when she realized where the attack was coming from and was willing to stop resisting her mother-in-law the pain in her abdominal area began to recede.  But the energies were totally not resolved.

I asked Deborah a question that stopped her in her tracks.   We had not gotten to the core of the pain.  “Are you willing to receive your mother-in-law’s jealousy?”

Deborah’s first reaction was no.  She shared with me that other people being jealous of her had always resulted in Deborah being victimized as a child.  As a result she had learned early in life to hide herself to not be seen, admired or in notoriety.  When she did her family members descended down upon her aggressively in some way.  As a result she had created a defensive position to others being jealous or in envy of her.

When Deborah realized how the fear of her past was creating the defensive position in the present the pain receded more.  We then began to do clearings around the defensive systems she had created and the discomfort totally diminished.

What we judge as bad or wrong and begin to defend ourselves from it we actually create an energy that attracts that specific energy.  Deborah was a magnet for others to resent her.  The more she tired to protect, she would create an opposite affect.  The reason being was Deborah attracted aggressive people to her because she judged them as bad and wrong.  There is something in our greater self that always attracts these situations that we fear as a way to get us to approach our fears.  It is why people seem to create the same kind of relationships again and again.

For Deborah receiving jealousy from her in-law and not resisting the woman opened Deborah to see another possibility.  As a child she could actually be hurt or judged by her siblings and mother when they were jealous of her.  It was not the case as an adult.  She could easily protect herself from her mother-in-law.  In fact Deborah was the person in power.  It has taken her a while to believe this.

Now Deborah is willing to receive the jealousy.  What opened for her is that she no longer is resistant to her mother-in-law and can see her as a different person.  Now she can have a different relationship with her in-law and others that are jealous and angry.

We that were raised in  angry or co-dependent home environments often bend over backwards as a response to parents or siblings.  The question we need to ask as adults when we feel this type of stress is, “Are we reacting from memories of the past or the present situation?”  Generally if it feels very uncomfortable than the situation should logically warrant, it is from our past.

The more that Deborah uncovers how she has created and defended her fears the more that she will not be the affect of others projects of jealousy, anger or other negating emotions.  It is a process of understanding us and willing to receive the awareness that our fears are hiding from us.

By Bart Sharp

I have a friend who always asks for help from her angels throughout the day.  What ever the situation requires she asks for her angel’s assistance whether it be organizing a schedule, coordinating co-workers to their duties or cleaning her home.  She assigns angels to the jobs she does.  Regardless of the task it is always more easily accomplished. She still does the physical work.  The angels seem to move obstacles that exist on another plane that inhibit us here.

Other people pray to god for assistance.  It seems to be a great help for them.  Even if god speaks in a silent voice and is a passive participant people who pray believe that asking for help makes a big difference.

It is also common for people to ask other people for assistance.  Direct help is available for those who ask for it.  In most cases people love to help others.  They feel more connected to society and other people when they help their fellow man.

However for many people there is a resistance to ask for help.  There is a variety of reasons why people do not ask from being independent, pride, isolation or feel they do not deserve it.  The unconsciousness to not ask feels like an old habit of isolation that is so deep within that it is an intrinsic response.

For many there are underlying influences directing them not to ask for assistance.  To maintain a attitude of separation is the way for the person feeling less worthy.  It comes from a belief that they deserve the suffering.  This false perception that they do not deserve comes from a fear that is generally originates from experiences in their past.  A feeling that they are wrong and lesser than.  Receiving help creates a vulnerability to another through the exchange from the fear that they are found out as inadequate (as their fears have told them time and again).

For many who hold these fears that they are lesser, one of the worst outcomes of that particular fear would be having confirmation from another that they are that inadequate.  As crazy as the concept sounds it is what holds many from connecting to others for assistance (Being judged as less than).

As I mentioned earlier the source of such sabotaging points of view is something that people learned a long time ago in childhood.  Its source is most likely from being shamed by their parents.  The messages parents give to their children that they are less, un-welcomed, unwanted or wrong for what they do affect children trough their adult lives.  Children hold those beliefs.  Then they begin the process of feeling separate and inadequate.

These shaming fears develop into something the child and adult wish to avoid.  They most likely learn from their parents that asking for help will mean criticism or punishment of some form.  Therefore as adults they create themselves separate from others so connecting to others by asking for help triggers the shamed person to old shaming fears from their parents.

The more we realize our fears and how they began we are more able to learn new patterns.  Our relationship with god, angels and people will change.  We will be more willing to receive everything that life has to offer including help.

By Bart Sharp

When we begin the journey of finding our past, discovering our shame, anger, beliefs of inadequacy we open to an inner power and magical life within us.

Mary Ann told herself that she could not take it anymore.  The working housewife felt taken for granted by her husband, high school aged son and daughter for her years of being a caring and loving mother and wife.  Mary Ann’s husband worked long hours at his business to come home tired.  Her children wanted independence and were striking out on their own. Now when she tried to help, each family member appeared to be resistant to Mary Ann intervening in his or her own way. Mary Ann had always been actively involved in her family’s lives and she felt an absence in herself due to her diminished role.  It had a cold and lonely feeling that felt hauntingly familiar to her past.

It was a fearful feeling of being moved out of her position of necessary mother to needed less that brought the fearful black feeling in Mary Ann’s stomach.  It felt so strongly because she had experienced that kind of sadness many times before as a child.  Mary Ann grew up in a household with a demanding father and a very passive mother who let Mary Ann become the mother of the household at an early age in a variety of ways.  Mary Ann seemed to be more ‘with it’ than her mother in knowing what was needed to be done.

It was not a truly satisfying position because Mary Ann became the household manager to ensure sanity and safety for her own life.  The motivation was out of fear, as Mary Ann was always on guard that her father would explode in rage or her mother would not provide what the family needed.

With that as her base experience in care taking Mary Ann found less joy in marriage and raising her children because the doubts of her past always influenced her to question or doubt herself.   Mary Ann’s resume as a caretaker was extensive, (she had done it all of her life).  Yet she always doubted her abilities.  Everyone in her family sensed this in some way and trusted Mary Ann less than she deserved.

Now at age forty with her children almost raised and her husband committed to an ever demanding schedule Mary Ann was uncertain what to do next.  She sought help.  One of the things she found was a few simple tools to guide her and over time, changed her life.

Mary Ann had learned that she had a variety of incidents in her childhood that were unresolved and these pains needed to healed.  The first stage was to identify and write the stories of her life and the wounds.  Mary Ann began this introspective process most every morning.

Through the process of writing Mary Ann created a vision of what it was like to be her as a child.  She had almost forgotten the patterns that she has previously created.  Now that they were in her present adult mind she could see how that little girl lived in fear and found caretaking as her protective device.  As a regular exercise Mary Ann would visualize the little girl that she once was sitting in her own lap.  She would visualize holding the girl and would tell her what she thought her little girl wanted to hear the most such as; “that she was loved, she was not responsible for everyone, she always was enough for her father”.

At first this exercise sounded silly but through time Mary Ann realized that the best person to give her love was her-self.  She needed to be caring and kind to her child self as well as her adult self.  Each time she nurtured her child self sometime felt more complete in her adult perspective.

A second practice that Mary Ann began is spending at least one hour a day doing something that was nurturing for her.  It might be gardening, art, walking on nature trails, decorating but the activity usually involve some aspect that was creative and stimulated that curious and aware spirit of Mary Ann.  Most importantly it was an activity that was done exclusively for her heart’s desire.  This was something Mary Ann never seemed to do before.  As she developed her repertoire of activities she began to think in ways of pleasing herself instead of the ever continual mind-think of how I can make my children’s, husband’s and parent’s life better.

Within a matter of months Mary Ann’s family began to notice mom was different.  She no longer seemed to be hovering over them.  Her children began to relax more around her.  Mary Ann was still available for them but through her family’s request.  They began to be attracted to Mary Ann because she was more fulfilled and fun.  Mary Ann had her own life to be excited about.

Mary Ann no longer is fed up.  She found that could look back at her life in curiosity and not fear.  At the age of forty she was ready for her own special adventures.