Letting Go Of Our ‘Dis ease’ Of Our Pain, Shame And Anger

Letting Go Of Our ‘Dis ease’ Of Our Pain, Shame And Anger

By Bart Sharp

One of the greatest sources of addiction, illness and depression is anger.  The conflicts with parents we have at an early age that are left unresolved are often the source of our ‘dis ease’.  The relationship often has love with a lie attached wherein the reoccurring suffering began.

Seamus was the oldest of four children and was seen as the favored child of his father.  As the oldest son he enjoyed a particular closeness to his father and often trailed his dad around their farm.  The relationship between father and son was for most part very close.  However there were times that the father would become very demeaning with Seamus for no apparent reason saying things such as, “I’m tired of looking at you, get out of here.”

The world of the six-year old boy would be devastated.  There was no consolation for the unexpected rejection from his father.

For the father he would become overwhelmed with the responsibility of providing and managing a family.  Times were tough and he felt the weight of the whole world on his shoulders.    As much as the father tried to be a positive leader he would react in negative aggressive ways to his children.  Much like the ways his own father treated him.  Seamus’ father swore he would never treat his children in that manner but found himself doing the things he had hated in his father.

For Seamus the shaming from his father at first made him feel desperately low.  The young boy would push his feelings aside continue in his normal routines.  In time Seamus stopped reacting in a suppressed passive tone but would express his negative feelings with his siblings.  He began to bully his younger brother and sisters.

Through the years an ever changing relationship of love and hate type of relationship developed between Seamus and his father.  At times they were very close but there were always incidents of conflict between the two usually resulting in verbal intimidation and physical punishment.  Seamus seemed to always create incidents to draw the trouble to him as if he wanted the conflict.

As an adult Seamus married.  He and his wife fought like he did with his dad.  It appeared that the couple could always find a new topic to disagree about or recreate an issue that they had not resolved.  Instead of seeking help from an outside source to find peace Seamus chose to numb his pain through drugs and/or alcohol.  It only made his problems worse.

The real addiction in Seamus’ life was anger.  He unconsciously either created conflicts with those he loved the most or found reasons to confront co-workers, friends or sometimes strangers.  In each incident Seamus found a justification of why to confront the person usually with the point of view that he was right and they were wrong.

Seamus would say that he did not like being angry.  Much like the conflicts he had with his father, he seemed to be a magnet for conflict.   A few times became physically violent.  He hated those fights.  However he continued to find himself pulled back in the fray once again.  At age fifty Seamus’ anger resonated in him almost all of the time, if he was not in a direct conflict Seamus was resentful of others in his life.  Having the fights never resolved the conflict so that he could permanently put those memories away.   The fights seemed to recreate a greater struggle in himself.

The source of Seamus pain was not with his wife, family or co-workers but back when he was a child.  It is the hurt caused from his father who belittled and shamed him with physical punishment and harsh criticism.  Then the father showed his son love by doing things together.  It was a conflictual message that anger and punishment were a part of love.  Seamus took this message and demonstrated it in his adult life with those he loved. However it did not bring him happiness.

As much as he tried Seamus could not break his cycle of anger.  It was the shame he experience from his father that was the original source of his anger.  The anger was only a reaction to his feelings of rejection from the person he wanted to please the most.

Since Seamus could not directly express his anger towards his father he created a pattern to express his aggression onto others.  He built years of rationales or judgments of ways he could be triggered into anger.  Life for Seamus had become a painful ongoing re-creation of his past angst to unconsciously dominate his life.

For Seamus the most beneficial therapy may be an invitation to that child part of himself to feel those feelings again and grieving his rejections.  Doing Access Energy work could be beneficial in that it can help Seamus release some of the repetitive patterns stuck in his body, cellular memories. It would be a process of identifying the stories of being shamed and angry, then feeling those experiences in his body.  Once the body memories have been identified the energetic releases of Access can create a permanent release of the painful memories.  The clearings would benefit Seamus in that he would not be triggered to react in anger.  Through multiple sessions Seamus would not be carrying the load of negative unresolved emotions and he could feel more freedom to experience life in a more joyful way.

The longer we hold onto anger and shame it will eventually create some kind of illness within us (physical and/or emotional).  If it is suppressed it is often held in places like our colon, intestines, kidneys, solar plexus and more.  The “dis ease” of these unresolved emotions is often the source of stress in our body parts that create disease in our body.