Hidden Killing Energies, Anger Expressed In A Positive Way

Hidden Killing Energies, Anger Expressed In A Positive Way

By Bart Sharp

Some anger is very intense and seems overwhelming, wrong for us to have it and/or scary.  Anger should not be judged first as right or wrong.  Instead if we just look at it non-judgmentally we can often see it more clearly than we ever have before.

I asked to get in touch with my deepest hidden killing energies deep inside my body.  When I ask that question my body usually responded with a part of  me resonating with a certain strong dark intensity.  It was a heavy vibration in my lower abdomen like something repressed away deep within my bowels.  It was something that was stuffed in the most secret recesses of my psyche.  Somewhere in my past I had decided this should not be seen.

The message of this shameful memory was a deep desire to kill, harm, brutalize.  It was a very dark inside that I did not wish to see as well as a heavy weight holding me back in my everyday endeavors.

I sat and felt it.  I did not run away but remained present with this energy in an observing way.  It was a powerful desire, a source of energy.  It was odd but it did not have a feeling of anger or hatred.  Yes it felt like a destructive force but like one of an animal of prey that kills to survive.

As I sat and paid attention to the energy its location became more specific.  It was of so much in the lower abdomen in originated in the perineum and went up into the stomach.  The perineum is a place that is blocked by repressed sexual energy.  At the same time it is an area that sexual energy comes from.  When our issues of repressed anger are released our sexual energy flows freely and our second chakra is vibrant.

In that moment I realized how the killing energies and the generative sexual energies are intertwined in the perineum core that goes up inside of us.  It is the death and rebirth, transformation and destruction.   This consciousness was not bad or wrong I had created it that way by judging that all anger is wrong.  Thus I repressed it and could no longer access it as a working tool for me.  Instead my fear of angry expressions made it as a force working against me.

I thought of Jesus on the cross as a great example of allowance of his own death to transform other lives.  Even if it resulted in death he was not reacting as a victim because he knew it would result in greater lessons for humanity.  There was much anger and killing energies from all sides of this conflict except within Jesus, he allowed it to become a greater purpose.

We do not have to be a victim to allow anger.  A friend of mine was very angry and yelling because she felt her spiritual teacher was manipulating her.  As I sat with her I first had a reaction inside that it was my fault as I was the one who introduced her to the man.  Then the judgment that I need to defend myself by arguing with her came up.  I decided to not address the situation this way but let down my defensiveness to her and listen.  Soon I could feel her pain instead of her aggression.  I then started questioning her in emotional reference questions such as. “Are you feeling angry at him because you perceived that he lied to you?”  There was a confirmation from my friend we were able to process the situation quickly.

In another situation I was with my long haired twelve year old godson in the men’s restroom at a local restaurant.  We were at the sink area washing our hands when a man looked at the youngster and said, “Maybe you should be in the girl’s (restroom)”.

I stared back at the man and said, “You are being disrespectful to a young man that you do not even know!”  I said it with enough force he knew I was angry.  I did not attack him but simply addressed the behavior.

The man stopped, mumbled to him self and walked out of the restroom.  If I had not worked on my own suppressed angers I would have most likely reacted in two ways; either said nothing and felt ashamed of myself or over-reacted and risked the situation become more than a quick verbal exchange.

In our interaction with anger we do not need to react in fear to it but as an energy to take action.   The embrace to be the killing energy (or anger) that it empowers us in our life.  It is not destructive or hurtful but an impetus to change.  This is what the power of our second chakra is all about.