Emotional Pain To Emotional Transformation
By Bart Sharp
Whet we can identify as our pain and limitations we are on the road to emotional transformation with those issues.
What we fear of happening to ourselves, we will project and enact it on to others in some way/s. If we were degraded by her own father or mother we will be attracted to hurting others with an intention that they feel the same kind of pain we did because in a way it validates the values we were taught through the abuse.
For example, if we were punished by our parents through physical punishment we are likely to do the same thing with others, whether they be our children, friend or intimate partner. We are influence to see the world through the eyes of our experiences whether they be negative or positive.Somehow it is easy to create a justification that someone else should feel what we felt, almost like a knee jerk reaction within us.
On the other hand we can strive to be better move in a positive direction in our emotional transformation.. In moving beyond the limitations we experienced a crucial factor is forgiving ourselves for our part in the conflictual relationship.
When we face something like being degraded as a child by a parent at some level we will judge ourselves as being a part of the wrongness of it, shame. As a child we cannot separate the feelings and unfair actions of the parent as not our fault as well. We will be unconsciously drawn to feel the same way as our parents values. When we explore this we will feel it in some memory and weird way belief we are part of the wrongness of the degrading experiences.
It is important to feel those memories in our gut or other area of the body. How it viscerally felts when we reflect and identify those childhood memories rings us to the actual memory of the experience. When we feel who we are, we can see that child in the pain, forgive the child we were. In fact praise the child because it was likely the child did the smartest thing at the time under much duress from the parent. The more we identify the visceral feeling, experience those sensations to feel the story and then forgive ourselves for our part we open us to a greater emotional transformation.